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Dear New Yorker/ Condé Nast Advertising Team

Dear New Yorker/ Condé Nast Advertising Team:

Got your email (again) today. Sorry, I was in meetings with some of our clients - just getting to your message now.

I'm starting to question our relationship. Yesterday, you insisted that I purchase a BlackBerry Storm when you know I have a relatively new iPhone 3G. I thought we were on the same page. I mean, you seemed to think it was pretty neat when Lizzie Widdicombe talked to that guy who tried to publish a magazine using his iPhone. I thought the iPhone was "cool." But I guess you've moved on.

Today in your message, I think you're accusing me of being, well, a little fashion-backward. You urged me to "be a well-dressed rebel with GQ rules." But have you seen my hair?! It just doesn't get more rebellious than this. In fact, I already use a cocktail of four products in the morning to tame my curls and frizz. That's after shampooing and conditioning with this really fancy stuff I import from France. (And we all know that they're rebellious!)

Quite frankly, I'm a bit concerned about what you might suggest I do next. I mean, what else is wrong with me? Do you think I made the wrong computer purchase? Am I looking fat? Do I need certain...enhancements?

I'm starting to question our relationship. I used to look forward to your once-a-week wit and charm. Now, it just feels like you're harassing me day in, day out.

Anyhoo - I guess I'll look forward to hearing back from you tomorrow afternoon sometime. Unless we're fighting or something. Is it the way I dress? I feel like you want me to leave the "in" group. Are you mad at me? I'm really worried.

XOXO,
Amy

 

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